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i'm so sorry

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I'm sorry. [15 Aug 2013|12:07pm]
I'm sorry that we started arguing, I was under a lot of stress but I know that's no excuse.
I'm sorry that I drove you right into his arms, you'd had it with all of my crap...
I'm sorry that you feel as though everything changed the 29th of March.
I'm sorry that everything really changed for me the 17th of May.
I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner that you were falling for him.
I'm sorry I didn't realize that he had fallen for you years ago.
I'm sorry I didn't do more to change how we ended up.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you we could just be friends, that would hurt too much.
I'm sorry she died, that's when it started going downhill for me..
I'm sorry she passed a week after I saw her, in the end that made it even harder.
I'm sorry she never got to go to prom like we did. I still think about that everyday.
I'm sorry she felt like a loser when through it all I saw her as one of the biggest winners.
I'm so so sorry.
In the end. I don't think you could ever forgive me...even if you do...I still can't forgive myself.
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my ultimate regret [12 Apr 2013|12:45pm]
I'm sorry that I never follow through, I'm sorry that meant I had to lie to you
I'm sorry that I kept you waiting, I'm sorry that I took too long
I'm sorry that you gave up on me
I'm sorry that I hurt you so many times, I'm sorry that I let the distance grow
I'm sorry that I neglected you, I'm sorry that led you to her
I'm sorry that I could have prevented this
I'm sorry that you weren't more careful, I'm sorry that you had no say
I'm sorry it's yours and hers
I'm sorry it isn't ours
I'm sorry it wasn't me

I felt she stole my future with you. But it's my fault you were ever even with her, by not moving there when I said I would. "Are you seeing someone else?", I asked him. "I don't see why it matters, if you were here I would be with you, but you aren't." But this was before we knew.

I'm sorry I don't do what I say.
I'm sorry that you rightfully lost faith in me.
I'm still sorry it wasn't me.
It was supposed to be me.
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[12 Apr 2013|09:34am]
I'm sorry that I can't let go
sorry for the desperation
I'm sorry that temptation led me astray
I'm sorry that I lied about it, to this day

I'm sorry that I manipulated you
and that I never followed through
I'm sorry that I don't see you,
as the good man that I used to

I'm sorry that i'll never understand your darkness
and that I want to
I'm sorry that I can't expect anything from you
and I'm sorry that she can't expect anything from you too

I'm sorry that I gave up too much of myself
I'm sorry that I made excuses for you
I'm sorry that I loved you for the man I thought you were
mostly I'm sorry that man was not you
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I'm sorry that you've all been forgotten. [09 Apr 2013|02:10am]

But I'm sure you've all gotten over your guilt.
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[31 Jan 2007|09:49pm]

i'm sorry for putting on a front and constantly acting confident. it's misleading, and i hate it
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[15 Jan 2007|04:29am]

[ mood | discontent ]

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for caring so much more than you do. I'm sorry for not letting go. I'm sorry for being selfish and childish. I'm sorry for letting myself go crazy. I'm sorry, so fucking sorry, that I didn't speak up before it was too late.

I'm sorry that I didn't let you cut me out of your life when you needed to. I'm sorry that you had to take care of me. I'm sorry that I was so disgusting, that to you I still am - that's my fault. I'm sorry that I wasn't pretty enough or mature enough or old enough or practical enough. I'm sorry that my favorite color is pink and that to you that makes me a child. I'm sorry that my cooking wasn't as good as hers and that my hair wasn't the way you like and that I wanted you to love me.

Once you said that you still missed me and that you didn't regret it. That was awhile ago and I still cling to it, even though I know it's mostly not true anymore, if at all. I'm sorry I keep thinking about you. I wish I was strong enough to leave you alone.

I'm not sorry I met you, but I'm sorry you met me.

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[10 Oct 2006|02:31am]

   I´m sorry they are dead and I´m alive. I should have ran faster, or talked to them, or locked them inside his room, or died with them. I should have listened instead of talking. I could have done something. Anything.

But I´m not sorry for the others, and that also makes me feel guilty.

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[02 Jan 2006|05:11pm]
i'm sorry i'm not strong anymore.
i'm sorry i cannot do this anymore.
i'm sorry i cannot be anymore.
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm
so so sorry.
it just hurts too much now.
i'm sorry everyone.

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[28 Dec 2005|12:46am]

[ mood | worried ]

i'm sorry for hurting your feelings, r., whenever we try to talk on the phone.
i'm sorry if you got the impression that i think you're pathetic. you're not. i'm only worried. and i think you need help.
i don't want to make you feel bad.
you always meant so much to me.
i'm sorry that we drifted apart.
but i can't make it stop.
i'm sorry.

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[28 Sep 2005|04:39pm]

i'm sorry that you left before i ever got the chance to say goodbye, and tell you i love you, and told you how sorry i was. im sorry our friendship became so screwed that neither of us knew what was going on

im sorry i'll never see you again.
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[13 Jul 2005|01:05pm]

Jill, I know you don't want to hear this, but please read...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a fool to ditch you for Chris and then thinking everything was hunky-dory just because I got off the phone with him when you told me to. I'm sorry for being such a horrible friend to you these couple of years that we've known each other. You're right, I do have a serious problem with boys. I pay way more attention to them than I ever do you. I'm sorry for every second I wasted on a boy when I could have spent time with you. I'm sorry for dragging Hannah into this when it's not her place to be my messenger. I'm sorry for giving up on our friendship when you were still trying to help me change. I'm sorry for hanging up on you when we were on the phone. I'm sorry for not saying goodbye when I left. I'm sorry for being a jealous bitch everytime you and Hannah went to Visonland and expecting you to only go with me. I'm sorry for constantly comparing our friendship to that of yours and Hannah's. I'm sorry for never being there for you like you have been for me. I'm sorry for being apathetic when you were crying at my house. I'm sorry for always making you feel crappy for little stuff. I'm sorry for criticizing you. I'm sorry for every little thing I've ever done to make you feel like you needed to end this friendship. It feels like I need you in my life just to make it through each day. And when we're not speaking, it tears me apart to the point where I'm physically sick. I just got done working and the whole time I felt like throwing up. And after I finish this, I'm going home. But I just can't go on throwing away a friendship that means so much to me. I've never had a friend that stuck with me through all the fights and tears and all the moves I go through. But you have. You've done all that and more. You've comforted me when we've both been going through pain, yet I didn't bother to comfort you back. You've stayed up late on the phone just so you can make sure I'm ok. You've reprimanded me whenever I did something stupid. I know for a fact, that without you, I'd probably be dead or pregnant or out on the streets. You've kept me strong through so much, and I've never told you how grateful I am to have you. You're my God sent angel.

I understand if you don't want to hear me out, or patch up things, or even talk to me. But just know this: I love you. And I always have. You'll still be the driving force in my life. I know that whenever I'm about to do something I'm going to regret, I'll hear your sweet voice in my head and know that whatever I'm doing, I need to stop. And I know that I'll never forget these last couple of years that have matured me and molded me into a better person. But I still have work to do. I've told you time and time again that I'll change. And you'd be skeptical, but you'd stick in there with me. Now I realize I should have never put you through so much. The best thing for me to do right now is sort out my priorities. I know you come WAY before guys. But I also need to figure out how to keep you and them on balance. Probably even tip the scale a bit in your favor. You don't have to believe me. What matters is that I change... to become a better friend and to never, EVER make you cry again. To always be there to make you smile and to be the one that you want to be around. And hopefully one day I'll be able to show you the kind of friendship you've shown me.
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[15 Jun 2005|02:44am]


JOIN p_i_n_k_i_c_e NOW!

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[28 Nov 2004|04:03pm]

[ mood | pissed off ]

i'm sorry that you had to take the time to get to know me.
i'm such a joke.

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[28 Nov 2004|02:28pm]

i'm sorry that i didn't make you happy.
i'm sorry for not trying hard enough.
i'm sorry for my attempt to end my life.
i'm sorry i destroyed something beautiful.
i'm sorry i gave in too soon.
i'm sorry for fading away.
i'm sorry for living.
i'm sorry i didn't say goodbye.
i'm sorry that i broke a promise to you.
i'm sorry for every minute i've breathed.
i'm sorry i wasn't completely honest.
i'm sorry i wasn't what you wanted.
i'm sorry you couldn't look at me in the fucking eyes
</3 emily
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[13 Nov 2004|07:21pm]

[ mood | cynical ]

i'm sorry for being too stupid to go to the university of heidelberg.
i'm sorry for wasting time.
i'm sorry for having killed my youth.
i'm sorry for making people cry.
i'm sorry for being envious about people i detest.
that's sick. really.
sorry for not having called frau k. again.
sorry for being too honest.

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[14 Aug 2004|02:47pm]

I'm sorry I'm crying over this.
I'm sorry for being such a completely jelous, obsessive and posessive bitch all the time.
I'm sorry if I ever make you feel bad.
I'm sorry that I'm a needy bitch.
I'm sorry for every time I've ever gotten upset over something stupid.
I'm sorry that I never stand up for myself. I'm sorry I have no spine.
I'm sorry.
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community [27 Jul 2004|09:05am]

[ mood | guilty ]

i'm sorry that i haven't apologized for such a long time although i have made so many mistakes and am troubling with so many things because i'm too stupid to deal with them.

i should have written it down.
i'm sorry for probably having made the impression that this community doesn't mean much to me.
i love this community.
sorry for letting it down.

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biete suenden, suche generalablass [27 Jul 2004|08:56am]

[ mood | sleepy ]

i'm sorry because i can't live up to my own standards.
i'm sorry for looking so horrible because i have a cold and couldn't sleep very well.
i'm sorry for not having got a 1.9 in my a-levels.
i'm sorry for not having called you, frau k., because i'm afraid of it.
i'm sorry that i can't understand my boyfriend. not at all.
i'm not sorry for hating claudia h. she's a dumbfuck.

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[20 Jul 2004|08:52am]

[ mood | guilty ]

I'm sorry for all of what happened on Sunday.
I'm sorry that I can't plan things right.
I'm sorry that I made you worry.
I'm sorry that you had to lie.
I'm sorry that things didn't go the way we wanted them to.
I'm sorry that I added to the overwhelming stress you're already living with.
I'm sorry that I can't always be there.
I'm sorry that I tend to be so shy.
I'm sorry that I didn't tell you how I felt about you earlier.
I'm sorry if I tend to seem posessive.
I'm sorry for any kind of pain I could have possibly caused you. I would never hurt you. I only want you to be happy.
I wish I could make it up to you.
I love you more than anything, no matter what.

I'm sorry...

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[09 Apr 2004|07:54pm]

I'm sorry everything's so complicated and that I don't have all the answers.
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